John’s Feel-Good Steak
John Chukwumah was born and raised in Nigeria and now calls Virginia home. He lives here with his wife, Chinwe, and their two daughters, Zikora and Somji.
By profession, he’s an engineer — by instinct, a chef. His kitchen hums with curiosity, care, and a quiet confidence that comes only from someone who cooks with both patience and freedom.
Cooking Without a Recipe: On Patience, Freedom, and Flavor
“I’m a Nigerian originally from Nigeria,” he says, laughing at the redundancy. “Now living in the United States — I guess this is where I call home now.”
He was born into a household without sisters, when most cultures traditionally deem the kitchen a woman’s territory. But because of that, the kitchen became his space of exploration.
“Growing up, I didn’t have sisters,” he explains. “So the kitchen wasn’t off-limits. My dad cooked, too — he traveled a lot, but when he was home, he cooked. It wasn’t strange to see that.”
At first, it was simple curiosity — then came joy.
“I would cook and not eat it,” he says. “I was cooking for others, not for myself. Sometimes even now, I’ll cook something I don’t eat — I just like to see people enjoy it.”
When he met Chinwe, cooking became a shared ritual — though one that, eventually, became his.
“I’d be in the kitchen asking, ‘Did you put salt? Did you add this?’” he laughs. “So she just said, ‘Okay, you do it.’ And that was it.”
Now, his daughters — especially Zikora — adore his food, especially Nigerian classics like egusi soup and pepper soup. But when I ask what dish brings everyone to the table, he doesn’t hesitate.
“Steak,” he says. “Everybody likes it — nephews, nieces, everyone. Even if it’s spicy for some, they’ll still eat it.”
His secret isn’t a spice or sauce.
“Patience,” he says simply. “Patience, and knowing exactly what meat you want to buy. I used to think meat was meat, but that’s not true. The cut matters. The salt matters. Too little, it’s bland. Too much, it’s gone. You just find that balance.”
John doesn’t measure. He doesn’t follow recipes. His food changes each time — because, as he explains, he cooks the way he feels.
“I don’t cook with a recipe,” he says. “So if you eat my stew today and tomorrow, they won’t taste the same. It depends on how I feel — maybe I sauté the onions longer, maybe I add the pepper later. There’s no disappointment because there’s no fixed expectation.”
He pauses, then adds thoughtfully —
“That’s true in life, too. If you expect it to taste a certain way and it doesn’t, you’re disappointed. But if you let it be what it is, it’s always fine.”
That’s John’s quiet wisdom: cooking — and life — as an act of trust.
Knowing that your intuition will guide you as you go; that there is no perfect route.
🌱 Recipe Box: John’s Feel-Good Steak
Ingredients (serves 2–3):
2 ribeye or sirloin steaks, well-marbled
Salt and freshly ground pepper
2 cloves garlic, smashed
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
Optional: crushed red pepper or chili flakes for heat
For the side:
Stir-fried vegetables (peppers, onions, spinach, or whatever’s fresh)
Steamed rice or creamy pasta
Instructions:
Pat steaks dry and season generously with salt and pepper. Let rest at room temperature for 15–20 minutes.
Heat oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic and swirl to infuse.
Add steaks and sear 3–4 minutes per side for medium, basting with butter as it melts.
Let rest 5 minutes before slicing.
Serve with stir-fried vegetables and rice — or, as John likes, a creamy homemade Alfredo pasta.
“It’s not about perfection,” John says. “Tomorrow it’ll taste different. That’s the beauty.”